Sunday, May 01, 2005

Woody Allen Quotes

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  • "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
  • "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying."
  • "Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right."
  • "Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love."
  • " Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
  • "I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child."
  • "I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy."
  • "Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."
  • "There are two types of people in this world: good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more."
  • "Sex between 2 people is a beautiful thing. Between 5, it's fantastic."
  • "My brain - it's my second favorite organ."
  • "I'm such a good lover because I practise a lot on my own."
  • "On bisexuality: It immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
  • "I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
  • " The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty."
  • "And Love? Well, it's not that quantity of your sexual relations that matters, but the quality. Then again, if the quantity ever drops below once in eight months, I'd definitely take a look into it."
  • "I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
  • "If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips."
  • "Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage."

2 comments:

elbo jenkins said...

"if you holler 'let me go' eeny meeny minee moe"

Pop Producer said...

I don't get it...

Is it a funny joke or are you on drugs????