
De Clarin.com
- Buenos Aires, Argentina -
From the Alan P Scott site
Technician (T): Hello, you've reached Automotive Tech. Support. How may I help you?
Customer (C): I've got a problem with my car... can you help?
T: Maybe. We'll try. What sort of car is it?
C: It's a Ford, I think, or maybe a Toyota. Why, does it matter?
T: It should say somewhere on it what it is. I need to know what sort of car it is to help you.
C: Aren't they all the same?
T: Well, no.
C: Umm... it's a Corolla?
T: Okay. That's good, that means it's a Toyota, and we do support those. Now... What sort of problem did you say you were having?
C: It won't go. I think it's the brakes.
T: Hmm... why do you think that?
C: When I press on the gearshift the car won't go.
T: The gearshift? Do you mean the accelerator?
C: Uhh...
T: Long skinny pedal on the right, on the floor of the car?
C: Yeah. Isn't that the gearshift? I heard my brother call it that. He's really car-literate.
T: It's the accelerator.
C: Whatever. So anyway, when I push on that thing the car won't go. It always used to. I think the brakes are stuck.
T: Does the brake pedal move when you push it?
C: Umm... which one's the brake pedal?
T: The one next to the accelerator.
C: I guess so. Yeah, it moves.
T: The problem's probably not the brakes, then. Is the car in gear?
C: How do I tell?
T: Well, look at the gearshift and see what position it's in.
C: I thought you said it was the accelerator.
T: No, I really mean the gearshift this time. It's a stick close to your right hand. You should see letters for each gear - P, R, N, D and L on most cars.
C: I have an L1 and an L2 - does that matter?
T: Is the gearshift indicator pointing to either of those?
C: No.
T: Well, what IS it pointing at?
C: It sticks straight up to the ceiling.
T: I mean the little orange pointer - what letter is it pointing to?
C: Oh. D.
T: So the car's in gear, you press on the accelerator, and it won't go. Is the emergency brake on?
C: The pedal on the floor?
T: No, the emergency brake. It's a handle behind the gearshift, with a button on top. Is the handle lying down flat or is it sticking up?
C: Oh, that. I thought that was... well, I don't know what I thought that was. I've never used it. It's down, though.
T: Maybe it's still partially engaged... Press the button in and push the handle down... does it go any farther?
C: Nope, it's flat.
T: Okay, that's not it, then. Hmm... I'm not hearing much. Can you press on the accelerator for me?
C: The accelerator?
T: Yes... the long skinny pedal we were talking about earlier.
C: Oh, okay. There.
T: Hmm. There wasn't any engine noise. Is the engine running? There should be a rhythmic noise coming from the front of the car.
C: Umm... I don't think so. I don't hear any noises.
T: The car has to be running for it to go.
C: Oh, that makes sense.
T: So, turn it on and let's see if there are any other problems.
C: Oh, okay... umm. How do I turn it on?
T: Well, put the key in the ignition and turn it to Start.
C: Oh, I don't have a key.
T: What?
C: I lost it. I have to keep track of too many keys. I wish I didn't have to. Can't you tell me how to start it without a key?
T: No, I'm sorry, that's not something we can do.
C: Oh, wait, I found it. I remembered that I keep it taped to the outside of the door so I can always find it.
T: But what's to keep someone else from finding it there and using it?
C: Oh... that would be bad, huh?
T: Yes. We recommend that you keep your key somewhere that only you can get into, like a wallet or purse. Anyway, now that you've found it, go ahead and put it into the ignition--
C: I don't--
T: That slot on the right-hand side of the steering wheel.
C: Oh. It doesn't fit.
T: What?
C: It doesn't fit. I know it's the right key, too. I got it from the door. It's the right key, and it doesn't fit. Did you change the lock? Why did you change the lock?
T: We didn't change the lock. We can't do that from here. Are you sure it's the right key?
C: Look, I know what my own keys - oh. That was my house key. Here's the car key.
click
C: It still won't work.
T: Is the gearshift still in D?
C: Umm, yeah. So?
T: So the car won't start with the gearshift in Drive. It's a safety feature.
C: This is all so complicated. So what do I do now?
T: Shift back to Park.
C: The lever won't move.
T: There's a button under your thumb when you hold the gearshift. Push that in while moving the shift to Park - the letter P.
C: Okay. Boy, this is complicated. They oughta make it simpler to drive. I bet more people would. Wouldn't that be great? There we go. Now I'll just turn the key...
VROOM
C: Thanks! Bye!
T: Hey, wait! You--
click-bzzz
Martes 5 de Julio de 2005
EFE

El músico viene de presentarse exitosamente en Venezuela.
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Some gossip to end this week... Soft Cell frontman Marc Almond was horrified when organisers of London's annual Gay Pride concert asked him to finish his performance early on behalf of former Spice Girl Emma Bunton whose solo career failed to take off. Almond told London's Time Out magazine: "The last time I performed there, I'd choreographed this 15-minute routine with 30 Brazilian dancers, then just as we were about to go on stage, they asked me if I could cut it to five minutes because Emma Bunton wanted to go on early. That sums it up really. It's just a parade of acts and boy bands promoting their latest single, with record companies trying to milk the pink pound." Almond replied by saying he hadn't come there to make way for Baby Spice, and so did his 15 minutes as intended. Good boy he is!