Joke: Women personal ads

The real meaning of the words women use in personal ads on Internet (stolen from here)

WOMEN'S ADS

40-ish..........................49
Adventurer.................Slept with all your friends
Athletic.......................No tits
Average looking........Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful.....................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile........Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated....................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure......On medication
Feminist......................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit.................Junkie
Friendship first.........Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun.............................Annoying
Gentle...................... Comatose
Good Listener......... Borderline Autistic
New-Age...................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded............Desperate
Outgoing....................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate................Sloppy drunk
Poet...........................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional...............Certified bitch
Redhead....................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque..............Grossly fat
Romantic....................Looks better by candle light
Social...........Been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous................Very fat
Weight proportion w/height........Hugely fat - as tall as she is wide
Wants Soulmate........Stalker-widow - drove first husband to suicide
Young at heart..........Old bat